Allen's Interests

Congratulations Miss America 2010, Miss Virginia Caressa Cameron

Miss Virginia Caressa Cameron being crowned Miss America by Miss America 2009 Katie Stam 

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"How come we choose from just two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?"

Alfred E. Neuman

Alfred E. Neuman is the fictional mascot and iconic cover boy of Mad magazine. The face had drifted through  American pictography for decades before being claimed and named by Mad editor Harvey Kurtzman.

 

Thanks to Doug Gilford's Mad Cover Site!

So this password manager walks into a bar…

During a recent password audit, it was found that a <insert favorite moronic social group> was using the following password for her computer:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When the auditor asked why she had such a big password, she said, “Hellllooooooooo! The tech support guy said that it had to be at least eight characters long.”

My thanks to Marc at Ilium Software for this!

Cullen Hightower

"Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it."

from Wikipedia:

Cullen Hightower (b. 1923) is a well known quote and quip writer from the United States. He is often associated with the American conservative political movement.

Hightower served in the U.S. army during World War II before beginning a career in sales. He began to publish his writing upon retirement. A collection of his quotes was published as Cullen Hightower's Wit Kit. One Hightower's most notable quotes is "People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they've done." Ironically, Hightower became famous for what he said rather than for what he did.

Wake n’ Bacon wakes you with the smell of breakfast

By Doug Osborne from Geek.com:

"Okay - I’ve covered some unique alarm clocks in the past, but this one really takes the cake, or rather the pork. Imagine, if you will, the smell of a hot cooked breakfast every morning when you wake up. Nice eh?

"Created by Matty Sallin, Daniel Bartolini, and Hsiao-huh Hsu, the Wake n’ Bacon alarm clock is different from your average variety clock in that it doesn’t use sound or harsh vibration to arouse a weary sleeper. Rather, the unit cooks a slice of bacon for you to fill your bedroom with the smell of breakfast.

"The way it works is that a person puts a slice of frozen bacon into the tray of the clock before going to bed. In the morning, the alarm clock then activates ten minutes before the alarm time and turns on two halogen lamps which slowly cook the bacon. Ten minutes later you are supposed to wake with the delicious smell of cooked pork in your bedroom. If that doesn’t do the the trick, then a backup alarm sounds to wake the individual.

"Of course, the only downside I see is that you will wake up hungry and will only have the one slice of cooked bacon to eat. However, if these designers can make an alarm clock to cook a complete breakfast with eggs, toast and coffee, now we’re talking."

 

Tell NASA What You Want to See Next

As a long-time fan of the space program, space exploration, and photography, I found the photos and this article By Betsy Mason entitled "Strange Places on Mars: What Do You Want to See Next?" at Wired.com especially intriguing.

"This image looks remarkably like groves of trees growing among Martian dunes. But, the trees are an optical illusion. They are actually dark streaks of sediment on the downwind side of the dunes. They were created by escaping gas from the evaporating carbon dioxide ice below. The bottom of the ice melts into vapor and moves toward holes in the ice, carrying dark sediment along with it that is then deposited when the gas escapes. This image was taken by the High Resolution Imaging Science Experiment (HiRISE) camera on NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter in Aprl 2008."

"NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has captured more than 13,000 images of the red planet’s surface. And now, the space agency wants your input on what images to acquire next.

"The High Resolution Imaging Science Experiment (HiRISE) camera is currently the most powerful camera on any NASA spacecraft. The images it has collected are truly amazing. They highlight how similar the Martian landscape is to Earth in some ways, as well as how otherworldly other parts of Mars can seem.

"We’ve collected just a few of the oddest and most beautiful shots. If they inspire you to want to pick the next strange location for HiRISE to focus on, NASA has created a website where you can scan the planet’s surface and make suggestions."

 Check out more of the amazing photos at Wired.com.

You Might Be A Nextel Junkie If,,

You might be a Nextel Junkie if:

(With my apologies to Jeff Foxworthy!)

• Your last will and testament directs that you are to be buried with your Nextel phone.
• You check for signal strength when considering grave sites.
• Your spouse accuses that you'd rather talk to strangers by direct-connect, than talk to your wife.
• Your wife is right!
• You refer to non-Motorola phones as "that other crap."
• You refer to other companies' push-to-talk services as "that other crap."
• You've ever discovered that you know more about a soon-to-be-released phone than the Nextel-store salesman.
• You've discovered that you ALWAYS know more about a soon-to-be-released Nextel phone than the store salesman.
• You've ever called Customer Service TWICE about the cost to upgrade to the latest phone, just to get a "second opinion."
• You've ever been waiting in front of a Nextel store at its opening to be the first to buy a new model of phone.
• You refuse to acknowledge the Sprint Nextel merger, and still call the company "Nextel."
• You refer to Sprint as "the 'S' word."
• You've memorized your DC nr.
• You have your DC number printed on your business cards.
• You have your DC number printed on your Christmas cards.
• You have your DC number printed on the side of your truck.
• You have your DC number embroidered on your shirts.
• You have your DC number tatooed on your body.
• You have your DC number tattoed on your forehead. nah!
• You named your pet parakeet "Chirp."
• You named your chihuahua dog "Chirp."
• You named your doberman pinscher "Chirp."
• You named your child "Chirp."
• You named your boat "iDen."
• You named your cat 'iDen."
• Your son, Chirp's, middle name is "iDen."
• You painted your boat black and yellow.
• You painted your truck black and yellow.
• You pained your house black and yellow.
• You painted your son, Chirp,,,,,, nah!
• You ever caught yourself humming "Hit Me Up" to the tune of the Rolling Stones "Start Me Up."
• You ever stepped out of the shower to answer an alert.
• You ever answered an alert while you were still in the shower.
• You ever alerted another Nextel Junkie while you were still in the shower.

I wrote this several years ago when I was in the middle of a Nextel craze. I still host a forum at PushToTalkForums.com for Nextel and other PTT phone users.

"I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today"

J. Wellington Wimpy

Wimpy and Olive Oyl in Popeye the Sailor Meets Ali Baba's Forty Thieves (1937)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

J. Wellington Wimpy, generally referred to as Wimpy, is one of the characters in the long-running comic strip Popeye, created by E. C. Segar and originally called Thimble Theatre, and in the Popeye cartoons based upon the strip. Wimpy was one of the dominant characters in the newspaper strip, but when Popeye was adapted as an animated cartoon series by Fleischer Studios, Wimpy became a more minor character; Dave Fleischer said that the character in the Segar strip was "too intellectual" to be used in film cartoons. Wimpy did appear in Robert Altman's 1980 live-action musical film Popeye, played by veteran character actor Paul Dooley.

The character in most of his manifestations is soft-spoken and generally cowardly, or a "wimp", hence his name. According to fellow cartoonist, Bill Mauldin, the name was suggested by that of Wellington J. Reynolds, one of Segar's instructors at the Chicago Art Institute. His personality was based upon that of William Schuchert, the manager of the Chester Opera House where Segar was first employed. "Windy Bill", as he was known, was a pleasant, friendly man, fond of tall tales and hamburgers.

Wimpy is Popeye's friend. In the cartoons he mainly plays the role of the "straight man" to Popeye's outbursts and wild antics. Wimpy is very intelligent, and well educated, but also very lazy, overly parsimonious and utterly gluttonous. He is also something of a scam artist and, especially in the newspaper strip, can be notoriously underhanded at times.

Wimpy loves to eat hamburgers, and is usually seen carrying or eating one or more at a time – e.g. in Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor he is seen grinding meat or eating burgers almost the entire time – however, he is usually too cheap to pay for them himself. A recurring joke involves Wimpy's attempts to con other patrons of the diner into buying his meal for him. His best-known catchphrase started in 1931 as "Cook me up a hamburger. I'll pay you Thursday." In 1932, this then became the famous "I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today". This phrase is now commonly used to illustrate fiscal irresponsibility and still appears in modern comedies such as The Drew Carey Show and The Office. Robert Altman's live-action film, Popeye was criticized for failing to use the phrase in a similarly memorable and iconic way.

Bobby Bowden, Dadgummit!

As a long time football fan, I  find it interesting to read about one of my favorite sports. I am currently reading "Bowden, How Bobby Bowden Forged A Football Dynasty" by Mike Freeman. When I started to read the book, I thought I might count the number of "dadgummits" but soon I lost count.

Freeman's book has some great Bowden quotes though. One of my favorites was when Bowden was asked by a reporter about one of his linebackers. When describing that player, Bowden said "He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear.' In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words." 

If you are a college football fan, I believe you would really enjoy reading "Bobby Bowden."

Maureen Murphy

"The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces."

Maureen Murphy

from Wikipedia:

"Maureen Murphy (November 14, 1952 - August 9, 2008) served as the 1st district Commissioner of the Cook County Board of Review from 1998 to 2007. On November 7, 2006 Murphy was defeated in her bid for reelection losing to Democrat Brendan F. Houlihan by a narrow margin of 2%. Maureen is the first woman, first Republican, and first suburban resident to serve in the Cook County Board of Review.

"Maureen Murphy served in the Illinois House of Representatives representing Illinois' 36th district from 1993 to 1997; while State Representative, she chaired the House revenue committee."

People of Walmart

 
As a frequent shopper of Walmart Stores around the southeast, I have seen some strange looking shoppers. However, I have to admit that the website "People of Walmart" has captured images of some that you may want to (try to) forget. 

 

 

Check out People of Walmart for the latest freak show photos of shoppers!